Thursday, September 17, 2009

Pity Party for One

I think Monday I was pretty overwhelmed with this burden that has been placed upon my shoulders. I prayed really hard on the way to work taht my burdens would be lifted. I felt like I was battling with depression wondering if I was headed for a meltdown. I guess I was having a pity party. I have only told my best friend Genie all of the problems I am going through. Because she is a teacher, I discuss with her the problems we are having with Rhett. Each day is a new challenge. Genie told me the sweetest thing that brought tears to my eyes. She says I am always asking everyone to pray for other people, but everyone should be praying for me. Genie said I was entitled to a pity party. She also told me I need to do things for me; to take vitamins and calcium so this won't take a toll on my health.

Then my cousin came. I was thankful for that. It didn't make these feelings I have go away or make me feel as if my burdens have been lifted. I was more caught in the middle of things. I guess I have always tried to please everyone. To be the perfect daughter, wife, mom, friend, etc and I fall short of perfection. That gets really hard sometimes. I found it hard to find things to be thankful for this week. I hate it when I have these pity parties for myself and no comes! LOL I feel old and tired and alone, but I know I am not alone. I have been so tired at night.

Our preacher has asked something of me... a bulletin board, but I just can't seem to get into it. My friend Nancy is supposed to help. I had to hand it over to her last night. She even told Larry I have enough on my plate right now. If it were fish, I could draw them. If it were fish, Nancy would color them. I know I can say no and not feel bad.

My art has suffered also as I have created very little. The one photo I tried to take this week did not turn out. I know my aura must be off kilter.

When I was getting Rhett's school supplies during the tax free weekend back in August, I found some paint markers by Crayola in primary colors of red, green, purple, yellow & another color. I don't really like the yellow one. Monday I found a small art journal at T. J. Maxx for $1.99! (which I could afford!) It is similar to the journal my best friend Genie got me for my birthday a few years ago. The best thing about this one is the pages are all a water color type texture. Of course I had to try it out. I used the purple & green paint markers in it. I only have one flower painted on so far with a bird of a darker shade of purple flying over the flower. I drew the same type flower on an inter-office envelope today as a gift to a friend and co-worker to brighten her day. I realized I now have a style because my leaves flow and look feminine to me so I am proud of myself today. I hope to fill this journal up with more of my artwork. Right now it is just small doodles as that is all I have time for, but still it is art which makes me happy and I need all I can get right now since handling my aunt's finances as well as my life.

If you are feeling artistic, but scared to trying painting, you might want to try your hand at these markers.

Tonight is the art show. I have taken the afternoon off to get beautified. I have a new evening blouse I got at JCPenney's last Christmas which has shorter sleeves I will be wearing. I am going to give myself a french manicure. I hope the weather clears up so my hair won't frizz. I hope I get in a better mood.

I will have new friends voting for me to win the People's Choice award. Don won't be late due to work this year. My cuz will be here as will several other friends. Some from out of town! I am so lucky and so blessed with friends that will vote for me. I have a husband, son and family that love me no matter what.

At Last year's art show I felt like Ms. Congeniality in a pagent. I wish I could muster up those feelings again. Perhaps I will later this evening... Tomorrow I hope to report another win and not a fight between my cousins. Wish me luck!

If you are thankful and would like to participate in Thankful Thursday, please go to the following....
where ironically the post is about masterpieces which ties in with my art show. Maybe it is a good omen.


Denise said...

Praying for you dear, love you.

becky aka theRAV said...

Thank you, sweet Denise. I am praying for you also.

becky aka theRAV said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PERBS said...

Good luck on the art show! Whether you win or not, the prize is that others saw your work. I hope you are going to share it with us in a post . . . have a fun evening!

LAURIE said...

How awesome that of all days to write about His Masterpiece you are actually going to have your talents and giftings on display!! Best of everything to you tonight. Happy TT.

Hi! I'm Grace said...

We are praying for you.
Happy TT. :)

becky aka theRAV said...

Thanks, Paulie. Yes, others saw my work. I will post more about the show later....Yes, Laurie, that was awesome. I liked your word "giftings". Thank you. Thanks Grace.