Thursday, November 5, 2009

I Cannot Be Everything to Everyone

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I have always loved dressing up as a character for it even into my adult years. Most years I am a vampire. My make-up skills at being one have improved each year if I say so myself. Over the past several years, dressing up for Halloween became a family affair. Don even got in on the act. We were lucky enough to win the costume contests several times at the American Legion. We so enjoyed going there. This year due to the economic situation, it would have cost Don & I to go. Rhett would have been free. If we had not won the costume contests, we would have been out that money so we decided not to go.

Halloween has always been MY time. We share it with our granddaughters and their family. It is a family photo fest. It is not uncommon to take 70 pictures. We always take Rhett to my folks prior to getting together with our granddaughters. But before we did this, I uploaded pictures on Saturday. Something I had not done in a while. I wanted to get all my spooky pics out that day. Don had some hunting photos he wanted to look at also.

Rhett was going to be a Ghostbuster. His costume was fairly inexpensive as it was a t-shirt ontop of another long sleeve t-shirt. I wasn't really going to be anything although I bought myself an orange t-shirt at Walmart that said "WICKED" on it. So I decided to go as the hatless wicked witch of the South! I found some really dark purple lipstick that looked almost black for my lips. I painted my nails with this really dark purple which was a first for me. Don also wore an orange t-shirt with a deer skull that said "What happens at the deer camp stays at the deer camp". I gave that to him for Christmas. He says last year but it was the year prior. When he opened it that Christmas, our son-n-law asked him "What have you been telling her?" LOL

While on the computer, I always have my cell phone on now. Mom called to ask when we were coming over. She said my cousin was down. I thought to myself, I just can be everything for everyone! I can't always be the one to cheer everybody up. Who is going to cheer me up when I am down? When we arrived at my folks, my cousin burst out laughing at my t-shirt then gave me a hug. He asked Don who he was. Don told him, "I'm her husband." We all cracked up but it was a defining moment. My cousin wasn't too bad off as he continued to work his crossword puzzle while we were there. He'd still talk but...

Both are granddaughters were sick. It was raining. Elisa and I rearranged all her Halloween decorations on their porch to take photos. Wesley was the cutest jelly fish you ever saw! Her hat drove her crazy so she whined about it while we took pictures. The wind arose. The rain was coming in on the porch so we went inside and rearranged the decorations for more photos. I took my raven stake so I had Lisa take pics of me too. I was thankful for another Halloween moment with my family.

We went to friends' houses nearby with the exception of Mrs. C from church. I felt bad we did not go to her dark house because you never know if this will be the last year of her life. Instead we went to a subdivision and three houses. The girls did not need to be out in the rain. Then we went to a church. The kids got to play a game or activity then get candy. They were running out of candy. Afterwards we got hot dogs and ate them. I was thankful for the time we got to spend together.

I guess I still feel like I am trying to please everyone. I took my cuz to an open house at a small art gallery inside a house. Rhett and I missed the singing at church so I could do this.

Monday, I had gotten another good pepperoni and mushroom pizza from Little Ceasar's for lunch. I forgot that my friend Cheryl was supposed to stop by with some clothes from her yard sale. She put the big box of clothes in my car and I invited her to have pizza with me. It was so good to have lunch with someone. It made me feel almost human again. I was so thankful for Cheryl, our visit, the lunch and the clothes.

Monday I decided I'd cook meatloaf at mom's to help her out. She'd had a room painted & was putting stuff back when she got a phone call that my Uncle Bill died. This was the 3rd death in our family this year. I have heard death comes in three's. While she was talking, I was preparing the meal. I had a box of Hamburger Helper on the kitchen table which I moved so I could work. Mom would put it back and I'd move it. So the 3rd time it was back on the table in my way, I said, "Mom, that doesn't go here!" She got mad at me. She didn't eat my meatloaf either which hurt my feelings.

After dinner, mom, my cuz and I went through the box of clothes. I am now clothes poor! I have giving the smaller sizes that did not fit me to Tiffany, the teenager who sits behind us at church. My friend Nancy's daughter. Passing things on feels good. Some things went to my Aunt Pearl.

The 3rd was my best friend Genie's birthday. I did not got to Christmas in the South on Halloween like I usually do. Just wasn't in the mood. Didn't want to spend money. I normally get her something while at that craft show. I kept pondering what to give her. The one piece of artwork I thought of, I cannot find another frame for it and I cannot bear to part with mine. Selfish I know. I had something on my desk at work. I had copies of it. I had other photos I'd taken with me. I made her THE Perfect card with one of my photographs! How cool is that? One idea just melted into another and I had two new art ideas. Two gifts for Genie. Once I left work, this inspiration came to a quick halt.

My cousin has decided to go back home to Idaho. My mom thinks I am some sort of miracle worker and that I can do something, but I don't what I am supposed to do; what I can do. My hands are tied at the moment as an estate is being set up. I cannot write checks until it is done. I cannot change my aunt's will. So I feel stretched out in different directions much like Christ strung up on the cross. This is my cross I have to bear for awhile.

I did email the lawyer that my cousin was leaving to go home. What else can I do?

Everytime I tried to use a photo machine at Walmart this week to copy the inspired ideas I had on Genie's birthday, none of them worked! It was frustrating!

A co-worker has gotten on my last nerve this week over petty stuff which I know I should not let get to me, but it did. I am only human. I am sure my uncle's death only added to this. I told one friend I was going to have a pity party, but no one would come. She said she'd be there with bells on! Anne is always there for me and I am so thankful for her.

I finally got color copies made of my artwork for Genie so I can keep the orginal altered photo. The year was cut off one of my pieces of art, but that turned out okay. I made lemonade again. Since the year is cut off, it can be used for anytime so that was a good thing! Another small blessing for which I was thankful.

Don didn't feel like going to church due to his dr not calling in his high blood pressure pills. My friend Nancy told me I need some time for me and I do.

The burglar alarm went off at my aunt's and the security called the house. I am sorry but my aunt is gone now. I do not have to put up with this every time the alarm goes off! This is my other cousin's responsibility not mine.

Every little thing bothers me. If my husband tells me one more thing I have done wrong, I may loose it.

Today I am getting off a half a day to take my parents to my uncle's funeral. I think if someone asked me one more thing of me, I might scream! I am trying to maintain, but it is hard. I so need your prayers. Thank you. Finding funny things seems to be my saving grace. Like this morning, Chaney Brothers called with a delivery. The man on the phone had a thick accent. I thought he said "Chaney Boogers"! LOL

If you would like to participate in Thankful Thursday, please go to the following...
It is a wonderful post by Iris. One which I needed. It is about my friend/blogger Denise. It made me feel bad about what I wrote; the trials I have been through this week compared to Denise's. It made me sound selfish especially since I don't praise the Lord as much as she does all the time.

Quote of the Day:
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual,
you also have an obligation to be one.
~Eleanor Roosevelt~

I loved this one! It made me smile 1st thing this morning. It was just what I needed. It is so true and so me! My friend MikeE put this in his parent emails that went out. That made my morning! Another small blessing.


Denise said...

Praying for you sweetie, hope things get much better for you. I love you.

PERBS said...

What a busy life for you presently. Remember, jsut when we think things cannot get worse, someone else is suffering through trials worse than you. God will not give you burdens heavier than He thinks you can carry.