Sunday, February 1, 2009

Another Sad Chapter in Our Lives



Another sad chapter in our lives is now over. We survived the visitation of my Uncle Frank Wednesday night. Everyone did well except I broke down as we were leaving. Otherwise it went without incident except I lost a glove. No family fights or squabbles - thank goodness.

I took this photo of the flowers my immediate family sent to the funeral home. The three pink carnations were my idea. They represented my mom, myself and my son Rhett. I'd asked for baby's breath also, but either the florist did not have any or they subbed it with another type of greenery.

We are normally a family that takes photos of our dead. We have pictures of my paternal grandfather in his casket. His body actually remainded in one of my aunt's house in a small town outside of Montgomery until the funeral service. It was freezing cold so there was no worries about the body. I don't know if anyone stayed up with the dead at night because I was only five at the time. I can't remember if we drove all the way back home and went back the next day. Ijust remember wearing pj's underneath my pants and seeing my mom cry for the first time. Now if my father looked at such pictures, they would make him throw up, but they don't bother me. I guess my stomach is stronger than his thank goodness!

I did take some pictures for a cousin with her camera after asking permission to do so at the visitation. But I just couldn't do it on my camera.

We all did well at the funeral itself until my aunt asked if we wanted to see my Uncle Frank one last time bore the service began. My mom couldn't do it nor could I. I wanted to remember him the way he was before the cancer. This made me cry, but we went to talk to our preacher and his wife which helped me.

My husband drove my parent's SUV to the funeral so we were not in our vehicles. Luckily I saw our youngest daughter Stephanie (my step-daughter) as she stepped outside looking for our cars. Don opened his door and she came over to us. I asked her if she wanted to ride with us to the cemetary but she told me no, she just came there FOR ME! She walked around to my side so I got out to hug her and broke down on her as we just held each other tightly. It really meant a lot to me that she was there for me and I told her that. When I got myself semi-composed, I told her I was ok now. I offered her one of my many wadded up tissues because I had plenty. She also hugged my mom which I thought was really sweet. There wasn't a dry eye in the car. I will always cherish that moment.

I always seem to break down on someone at a funeral. When I my cousin Ken died I was pregnant with Rhett. Ken was Uncle Frank's youngest son. I broke down on my Aunt Bea who I am not close to at all then my friend David. Steph was the lucky one this time.

The graveside was masonic. Afterwards we took food to my aunt's house and we ate, laughed and talked. I did take pictures of my great grandparents photo framed on the wall of my uncle's bedroom. My mom had the photo re-framed years ago. At least it remained in the family. The photos I took turned out really well. I have already printed copies for my mom, my aunt and myself. I am going to have it blown up for my mom's Valentine's present.

A couple of hours after we'd eaten, my Daddy came out of the bathroom white as a sheet. I asked him if he'd gotten sick. He said he had been having chest pains. He sat on the couch. I loosened his tie. I asked him if he had his nitro pills which he did not! I ordered him to take a baby asprin which I thankfully had and he thankfully took. He asked for alka seltzer, but they didn't have any in the house. My cousin gave him a rolaids instead.

Now I am praying but saying, "Lord, I just buried my Uncle today. I can't be burying my Daddy too." Once Daddy belched, he said he felt better. Once he felt better, I drove them home. Once home, my Daddy asked me to go get him some more alkies. My husband didn't think he needed them, but Don hardly ever has indigestion or won't take anything if he does have it. Daddy has always had problems with it. I told Don I was going to do what my Daddy asked me to do for him so I did. I went to a nearby Rite Aide to get him some more alkies. By the time I got back, Daddy was in his chair asleep covered in a blanket. Mom made him go to bed after we left. He seems to be ok now. Thank the good Lord. I know this was just as stressful for my dad too. My Uncle Frank use to pick at Daddy by saying, "Come here and give me some sugar." just to aggrevate my Daddy even though they were brother-in-laws. I am sure they felt more like brothers. It was always funny each time he did this. And now he won't be doing it anymore, but we still have the memories.

Saturday I went to an unexpected shower about an unexpected baby. My mom used the excuse of my Daddy so she wouldn't have to go. Chicken! Our preacher's wife asked Rhett if he could get sick so I could use him as an excuse for me not to go. LOL I had to represent the family even though I did not really want to since the couple is not married. But the baby cannot help that fact. My mom and I split the cost of the items I bought on short notice on Friday after work. I did not go all out as I normally do when buying baby gifts. I did not buy pink things but yellow ones. I bought only one bib that said, "I love my Daddy" since it is my cousin's son who is the father. I bought nothing about the momma. The shower games were different than any showers I have attended. They included the baby's daddy.

Don got his 3rd deer of the year. He had me emailing picures to his kids last night saying his was he biggest of all and that's not a fisherman's tale either. I also emailed them to my former deer hunting friend Cheryl. I knew she would be the only woman to appreciate them and she did. Hey! It is meat on our table, saving us money and we are indeed thankful since Don still hasn't found a job. He saw one job in the paper today so keep your fingers crossed for us that he gets it. It sounds kinda cool. I told him I needed one like that. One of my old jobs is available. I told him I thought it would be a real hoot if he applied for it and got it. I don't want it as it involves money & I don't like jobs that involve moola. I'd said my next job was going to be artistic and I am sticking to my words.

Speaking of artistic... I held another art class at church, but no one showed up. Despite that fact, I didn't let it stop me. I created another really good piece I am proud of, but it is unfinished which is why there is no photo of it yet. I am not discouraged because no one came. It was actually cathartic for me. I realized I am making art for the Lord and in turn I hope to sell it someday... I can only hope. I really liked what I did and have cut out some more similar patterns to make more.

This first photo was the last picture I took of my Uncle Frank just before Christmas. When I took it, I had a feeling it might be my last one I would take and it was. I thought it only befitting to put it here and pay tribute to him. Hoping Picasa and the blogger will work which it did.
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PERBS said...


PERBS said...
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PERBS said...

{{{{{Becky}}}}}}}} is an internet hug for you -- I thought you could use one. I accidently posted it twice so deleted it.