Today I let an email written to two friends who are more like aquaintances get to me. The writer stated she was proud of their accomplishments. So why did my "friend" send this to me? To rub it in? To make me feel like I haven't accomplished anything with my life? What about my accomplishments? They are have been stated before... I am daughter to aging parents, a wife, a mother, a writer, a photographer, an artist. At least I am married and have a child. I am thoughtful, I am considerate. I use tact. I wouldn't do things others have done. I would never intentionally hurt someone or make them feel bad. I would have removed the writer's comments and just sent the photos that are larger than life exposing every pore that screams for a pore minimizer! But at least our skin looks moist.
I'd heard someone ask, "Why do people do the things they do?" I've often asked that question myself many, many times never finding the answers. Nor do I expect to find them in my lifetime. I need to stop trying to figure out other's motives. I need to stop over analyzing everything. I am not down because I am a strong woman as my best friend Genie reminded me on Friday. I can do anything. I have accomplished alot in my life time and will accomplish much, much more. I might not be a department head, or be really smart or write for a newspaper as I dreamed of or make lots of money, but I am happy to be me where I am in the life I live. I never wanted to be a department head. I've always wanted to be a writer and I am. I am just still not a published writer yet. I wanted to break the Guinness Book of World records for the most written poetry and I may have done that. I had over 20,000 poems, but I stopped counting and putting them in bound compostion books when love took my muse away years ago. I turned to art instead. Thankfully I found love again or love found me. I have written poetry since then, but it is random and scattered. A piece of me here. A piece of me there. My muse did not totally forsake me. I wanted to publish books and I shall one day. I wanted to be a mom and I am to be best little boy in the world and I am so very thankful he is my child and I am his mom. He cracks me up as he did last night. He taped my voice on his Nintendo DS & kept repeating my words back at me "out of my ear" over and over and over in differing voices. It got on my nerves as I hate repetition, but I haven't laughed that hard in awhile nor has he. I wanted to be an artist and I am. I am an abstract artist and proud of it. I am a Capricorn which is a late bloomer. I am slowly, but surely making a name for myself artwise in baby steps. I am living my dream and that is the main thing. I have the best of both worlds. I did not dream to be a department head. I love the freedom of my art. No constraints of time or deadlines for now. Just doing what I love. How many people can say that?
This person said she always wanted to do something else with her life. I can't remember what her dream was now, but it seemed out of character for her as was domestication and motherhood. So what about that? Could it be that she is envious of me that I am living my dream whereas she is not?
I know. I know. You are going to tell me that I am just being silly. That I should not let such immature, dumb things get to me. I didn't really. But it served a purpose... it made me build myself up and stand my ground. I did this. I am woman. I am a strong accomplished artistic woman. Hear me roar!
Be creative. Be artistic. Never give up on your dreams. Live each day as if it were your last and make someone laugh. And Never ever let others get to you!